The Greatest Story Ever?

I'm sitting here with a mile high stack of stuff I need to write about, and here comes this tasty little morsel from across the pond that is just too scrumptious not to share.

From the U.K. Telegraph:

Lesbian Martial Arts Expert Frees Under Age Lover In Indonesia

A lesbian martial arts expert has staged a jailbreak to free her under age female lover from protective custody where she was being "cured" of her attraction to women, according to reports.

If thats not delicious enough:

Police are investigating the escape of the 15-year-old girl, who allegedly admitted to having a sexual relationship with her 26-year-old taekwondo teacher in east Jakarta.

The girl, Tn, who comes from a community that only uses one name, left home to live with her teacher, Sj, for a month.

The girl's father called in the National Commission for Child Protection (Komnas Anak) to "cure" his daughter's sexual orientation and agreed to place her in protective custody.

Sj found out where Tn was being detained and was able to break her out on September 17, the first day of the Idul Fitri religious celebrations.

"The security officers were negligent because they did not know that somebody was taking a child away," Komnas Anak chairman Arist Merdeka Sirait explained.

Mr Arist said that Tn had admitted to a sexual relationship with Sj. Police are investigating, but it is not clear whether Sj can be charged with anything.

This story really does have it all, doesn't it.

We have lesbian ninjas (or close enough) a town where everyone has only one name, evidently restricted to two letters, and folks trying to "cure" this girl's homosexuality. You honestly can't make this sort of thing up.

Oh, and to make it even more colorful, don't forget that Indonesia, the nation with the largest Muslim population on earth, is where Stanley Ann Dunham ran off with her son Barry and married Lolo Soetoro, a Muslim, and Communist, just like Stanley Ann.

Lesbian ninjas, a town that restricts people to two letter names, cures for gayness, Muslims and Communists named Barack. Come on Hollywood, this is begging for one of those star studded extravaganzas.

Sure would beat the hell out of continually phoning it in, as you have lately.

As if this wasn't all of the awesomeness you could stand at one sitting, we've also found the greatest website evah:

Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber